Kiss - Destroyer
Kiss were not a rock band they were a puerile cartoon strip, and just like those silly Jem and the Attractions which was designed for little girls under age of ten, any adult male who thought Kiss were real was liable to be ridiculed and held up as an example of a complete fool. Admitting one was a Kiss fan was like admitting that you still believed in Santa Claus. At least the album cover doesn't attempt to hide their derivation from a cartoon strip - it is a cartoon in itself.
Looking back, it amazes me that Kiss ever managed to get anywhere. The songs are trite, replete with the clichés and prejudices of the worst that rock music has to offer. They borrowed the excesses of glam rock and took them to extremes - the face paint, the glittery, outlandish costumes and the ridiculous platform shoes. They seem now like a parody of everything that was wrong about rock music. I am not sure how seriously the members of the band, or the A&R men behind it, took themselves, but none of them could surely have believed in themselves except as a money-making project. And as long as the money kept rolling in, the project was one that was worth sustaining. And did they all milk it for all it was worth.
Kiss flourished at that critical point in time just before the punks came along to smash everything up. Kiss were nothing more than a boy band, designed for the arenas and for making as much money as possible by the people who created them and their image. I have often railed against musical frauds whose creators' aim is to deprive schoolgirls of their pocket money, well Kiss was the male equivalent. They made spotty adolescents feel they were something they were not, and allowed those spotty adolescents to go to concerts without having to front up as spotty adolescents - it was hard to see zits when your face is covered in black and white paint. Kiss made each band member a character and made each character larger than life. And when Gene Simmons boasted he had slept with 10,000 women, millions of spotty adolescents dreamed of being Gene Simmons. Simply put, Kiss was Britney Spears for boys.
This album is often regarded as their best studio album. Well that I suppose is true, but the best of a pile of stinking shit is still stinking shit. However good it thinks it is, it still only gets one star, and in all honesty that is being generous. This is, without doubt, the worst album in my collection. "Detroit Rock City" is the only track I can actually listen to without rushing forward for the stop button. "Beth" is so appalling it is laughable. The rest, well they all just fade into one indistinguishable blob of nothingness. This is penis rock for boys without penises. Why do I have it then? Well, I won it in a competition and for some strange reason I kept hold of it. I don't know whether it was some twisted form of morbid curiosity or what. A couple of my friends at the time were really heavily into the band. I never got further than this album and to be honest, I never wanted to go any further.
When there were superb rock bands around like Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and the like, why did this rubbish have to spoil things by destroying any credibility the music had as a genre? The band could barely play their instruments with any degree of skill above basic to intermediate, the songs are trite and turgid, the instrumentality is poor, and the whole thing is just all shine and no substance. The best advice I can think of giving to anyone who is considering listening to this is "don't"! Avoid like the plague!
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on 2012-11-17 SolitaryMan Said:
Kiss were, and remain, one of the most ridiculous musical entities in the history of music. A series of gimmicks, good timing and crude business practices have all combined with substandard "catchy" singles to keep their name relevant over the years. Kiss are a perfect representative of the idiocy of the masses.